How to Stop Co Sleeping: A Comprehensive Guide

Putting your infant or toddler to sleep in your bed is not safe or encouraged, especially before the age of one. Even yet, some parents resort to co-sleeping — a phrase commonly used alternately with bed-sharing — if it appears to be the only option for everyone to get a good night’s sleep.

And once you’re in that situation, it can be difficult to get out. Even if you want some privacy (or merely to avoid having a foot in your face in the wee hours of the night), chances are your child is content with the current arrangement.

So, how can you convince your child to sleep in her own room while keeping nighttime tears to a minimum? Stopping co-sleeping and transitioning to independent sleeping with an older kid or toddler isn’t always straightforward, and it’s doubtful that you’ll be able to do it overnight. But you can still make it work.

Here’s what you need to know about stopping co-sleeping, whether there is a proper moment to do it, and how to make the change as easy as possible.

How Do You Define Co-sleeping?

Sharing a bed with your kid is what co-sleeping entails. Some people would argue that it is vague, and that bed sharing (rather than room-sharing) is a more precise term to describe it.

When Is It Acceptable to Co-sleep?

Co-sleeping never works for many parents since their children have never slept well in their beds. On the other hand, there are parents who have made the decision to co-sleep with their kids and are content with it. Many famous people also do it. They co-sleep with their kids. For example, Dr. Claire McCarthy is an excellent example of it. She wrote an article on co-sleeping with her children in the Huffington Post.

It makes one think would make a parent comfortable with continued co-sleeping if asked about their opinion, right?

For the majority of families, the goal is to get enough sleep, which in this context means:

• Because your kid is over a year old, the likelihood of SIDS is low.
• Everyone is getting enough sleep.
• The family bed has enough space for every person to be relaxed.
• Parents are not awakened throughout the night.
• Parents and children have a good night’s sleep and are not drowsy during the day.
• Your child can certainly sleep elsewhere, such as at grandma’s place or at a sleepover, without tears or fear.

If all of these conditions are not met, we strongly suggest that you should discontinue co-sleeping.

Note: In the case of the last requirement, a child who is unable to separate may have separation anxiety. Co-sleeping does not create separation anxiety, but if your kid cannot sleep without you without experiencing a meltdown, we believe you should work towards increasing bedtime independence.

What Is the Best Age to Stop Co-sleeping?

To be very honest about it, there is no appropriate age to stop co-sleeping. If you’re ready to have your infant or toddler happy falling asleep on their own and sleeping for an entire night in their Crib, now is the time!

Don’t squander another restless night believing that waiting till your child is older will make things easier, because that isn’t always the case. If you have a small baby, such as a three-month-old, it’s extremely vital to move them to a crib right away because it’s the safest sleep environment and lowers the chance of SIDS.

Some parents prefer to wait until their kid is 9 or 12 months old to transition to a crib, but this is pointless. The best time to transition your infant or toddler is right now!

Related Read: When to Move Baby to Own Room

How to Transition From Co-sleeping to Independent Sleeping?

Create a Custom Plan

There are various ways for adjusting an infant from co-sleeping to independent sleeping, and it all begins at bedtime. The way you put your little one to bed each night is determined by his or her personality and what you are comfortable doing. Some babies respond better to having a parent sit next to the crib, while others respond better to going cold turkey. If you decide to linger in the nursery for a few minutes before bedtime, try to depart when your baby is nodding off but not yet sleeping. Moreover, each night, pull the chair away from the crib and more toward the bedroom door.

Introduce Other Cues for Comfort to Your Baby

Your kid will require stuff for his or her own room to make him or her feel secure while you are away. Consider conditioning a certain smell, a specific light, a specific blanket, a specific storybook, and a specific piece of music for a minimum of six weeks while you are still co-sleeping or bed sharing. The goal is for all of them to make the child feel safe and to remind them of you even when you are not present.

Teach Your Infant to Fall Asleep on His or Her Own

This is the difficult part. Every baby gets up during the night, but in order to fall back asleep without interference (in your case, a trip to your room followed by plenty of hugging), they must practice falling asleep on their own. Some parents have success soothing their baby in the middle of the night without picking the baby up or bringing the baby to bed with them.

Start With Night Weaning Before Anything Else

If you continue to feed your little one at night (especially if you are breastfeeding them), we would suggest you wait until they are night weaned before discontinuing bedsharing. If you do, you will most likely have a lot of noise at night, and your baby will have two large problems to deal with at the same time, which we don’t think is fair. We also believe that night weaning is softer when your child is still near to you for reassurance.

Related Read:When to drop dream feeding

Work With Your Significant Other

Make certain that you understand that this will be a family effort, so make sure you and your partner are on the same wavelength before you begin. Who will get up every time the infant wakes up? What are you going to do to get the baby to sleep again? Will you allow the baby to wail for a few minutes before scooping him up? How long does each of your limits last?

Do Not Forget to Room In

You can room-in with your baby for the first two weeks they are in their own bedroom, which involves sleeping in their bed with them for the entire night for a fortnight. If your baby is sleeping in a crib or a cot, you may wish to use a bed roll or air mattress beside them. When your little bundle of joy is used to sleeping in their own personal space after two weeks, you can slowly create a distance between yourselves once they are asleep. If they wake up in the middle of the night, simply lie with them and embrace them until they fall back asleep.

Expect Your Baby to Resist, but Be Consistent

Once you’ve decided on a strategy, put it into action — and stick to it even if the baby attempts to protest. Your baby is going to put up a big fight the first few nights. This is entirely normal and expected. Keep your cool and stay comforting, and remember that consistency is vital.

Be Patient

Co-sleeping does not last forever. Like any other sort of sleep training, it may take a lot of repetition before it becomes a habit, but it will. Meanwhile, try to be particularly gentle with the baby.

Be Mindful of the Timing of the Transition

Do not move your kid around because you’re returning to work; the extra proximity to you at night will most likely help them adjust to missing you during the day. Similarly, if you relocate them during a period of separation anxiety, you will certainly aggravate it. As a general rule, avoid the months of 8 to 15 months. Do not relocate them either before or after the arrival of a new baby.

You do not want your little bundle of joy to think they’ve been kicked out to make room for their new brother or sister. Being a new big brother or sister is difficult enough for them to adjust to. If you wish to move your child to create room for a new baby, do not do it either before or after the new baby is due. Finally, there will always be times when your kid needs to be close to you, especially if they are sick or in pain. When this happens, don’t be afraid to invite them back into your bed for a short while.

How Long Does the Process From Co-sleeping to Independent Sleeping in a Crib Take?

What we have discovered works best as per our observations is combining the cessation of co-sleeping with sleep training. This entails teaching your baby to accept the crib while simultaneously teaching them how to fall and remain asleep on their own.

When you do this, the transfer to the crib goes more quickly. Of course, consistency is required, and it’s better if you have a step-by-step strategy, which is exactly what I provide parents in my sleep training program here. In general, it can take anywhere from a few days to a week or two to move from bed-sharing to the crib.

Related Read: Sleep Training Method

Separation Anxiety and Co-sleeping

The most frequent type of anxiety among children is separation anxiety. Your kid may be suffering from separation anxiety if he or she is terrified of sleeping without you. Children who suffer from separation anxiety frequently insist on sleeping with or near a parent. They may be scared of being awake when their parents are sleeping, and they might request that their parents stay awake until they are asleep.

Other symptoms of separation anxiety include separation-related dreams or nightmares, as well as trouble with separation in other circumstances, such as school drop-offs. If your child is experiencing separation anxiety, we strongly advise you to consult with your pediatrician.

The Bottom Line

If you have begun your baby’s sleep habit by co-sleeping in a family bed, the transition to sleeping in the crib may be difficult, but it is not impossible. You may swiftly quit the co-sleeping habit if you choose an approach that is easy for your family and adhere to it consistently. If you have any questions or concerns, contact your baby’s doctor.

FAQs

How Can I Find Out If My Little One Is Ready for the Transition From Co-sleeping to Independent Sleeping?

It is difficult to make predictions. If your youngster is ready for the change, it should only take a day or two. You may need to proceed more gently with other children who are more reluctant. This should take no longer than two weeks. If you try to discontinue co-sleeping and it is a disaster, talk to your pediatrician or a sleep professional about it. However, keep in mind the extinction burst: your child’s sleep will normally worsen before improving, and such challenges may arise as early as 2-3 days in.

What if Your Kid Gets Sick or Has a Nightmare?

We would advise you to stick to your strategy as closely as you are able. A quick snuggle in their room in the middle of the night is acceptable. However, pulling them into your bed for the rest of the night may erase weeks of hard work. If you are not prepared to be firm on this matter for a month, we would suggest deferring for a while. After your child has been sleeping successfully in his bed for a month or two, we believe it is acceptable to bring them into your bed if absolutely necessary with the awareness that you may need to be firm thereafter.

What if You Are Not Sure if You Are Doing the Right Thing?

You are putting yourself and your kid up for failure if you are ambivalent. Maybe you should wait a little longer. However, if you’ve devised a strategy and begun carrying it out, we advise you to stick with it even if you’re having second thoughts in the middle of the night. Allow yourself a week. If you stop too soon, you and your kid will have suffered for nothing and may have made things more difficult for yourself in the future.

You can do it! We believe in you.